Self-Knowledge
Knowing yourself is the foundation of all true change and of
all real transformation. It is the simplest and most direct path
towards the essence of that which we seek. Whether the objective
be the capacity to exist in relation with others, the capacity
to live daily life or to succeed with life’s plans; or whether
the goal is gaining access to healing, to confidence, to love,
to happiness, to inner peace or to freedom, these are to be realized
by knowledge of who we are.
Self-knowledge enables us to see that we truly and most certainly
can transform ourselves, and permits us to see that the only real
obstacle to change is not wanting to change.
Things that hold us back from change may be:
Thinking that we can’t change.
Not knowing how we can change.
On the path to change, following advice that harms us.
Being profoundly identified and attached to a way of life that
is no longer appropriate and that limits us.
Being discouraged in the face of an overblown image of what change
requires.
Thinking that the work can’t be done without pain.
Having no confidence in any method or possibility of change.
To know ourselves is to know that it is from our own needs, desires
and goals that we create the life which suits us and that we decide
the course of our lives.
We live our lives with who we are as starting-point. Our way
of seeing life in its smallest details and our way of approaching
life can either free us or subject us to the course of events,
can either awake us to or make us unconscious of the nature of
things, can make us happy or sad. Our vision of the world determines
our way of life. There lies its source.
To know our own nature is to know our own workings, the workings
of life, and it is to know the nature of existence.
The Counseling
The voyage through this life can be made without unnecessary
suffering. And there is no thing or person that can oblige us
to remain stuck with difficulties or in an unsatisfying life.
To be happy, the human being must find his or her own path. He
must know himself, know what he wants and act accordingly. If
he does not do this, it is because he is afraid or because he
is unaware of that which affects him. He must then become conscious
of both the wounds and the beliefs which he carries and which
hold him back or limit him. He must release himself from the self-defeating
obstacles which he carries within.
To take these steps, he needs to be received and accepted, listened
to and understood. He needs to heal and to be guided. He needs
a reassuring presence and a place where he can tell his story,
without shame and without fear; and in total safety. He needs
a place where he can see where he has been, where he is, and where
he is going. He needs assistance to clearly, easily and quickly
understand what his path is.
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After having drawn up a portrait of the essence of your life
or your situation, I will guide you towards your needs, your aspirations
and towards the path which is yours. I will throw light on your
path towards new awakenings and towards a decision-making process
whose starting-point is your own choices. I will accompany you
on the journey towards a life which is more in harmony with what
you really seek and with what matters most for you.
Solutions to difficulties, love and inner peace, force of life
and self-confidence are accessible and within our reach. The encounters
that I am proposing to you represent a direct access towards the
realization of happiness and the freedom which we seek.
Sources and Influences
The fields which have influenced my approach the most are the
three fields of humanistic psychology, non-dualist* philosophy
and the spirituality of the great teachers. This is because these
fields share in common the human aspirations, that is to say the
healing of suffering, the pursuit of happiness and the search
for liberation. They are different paths which tend towards the
same ultimate goal.
* Non-dualism: see half-way down the History page.
Structure of Sessions
To begin, simple, precise and directed questions are asked. These
questions carry us to the heart of the person’s lived experiences
and to the source of one’s personal story. While respecting
the invitee’s personal boundaries, they bring us to the
essential in the person’s life the most direct way possible.
They direct us towards a clear vision and understanding of the
subjects broached, while avoiding losing sight of the goal of
the session and also avoiding getting sidetracked. They allow
in-depth exploration of personal subjects or of fundamental questions.
A look at beliefs is often essential. Beliefs affect our lives
directly. They are what we have learned about life, no longer
having, on our arrival, familiarity with the truth. We make use
of them to create our lives, to make choices, to make decisions.
They affect the way we see life in all its details. Beliefs are
at the base of our system of thought. They often prevent us from
being free and from living life in accordance with our greatest
desires and our greatest needs.
Recall of Certain Principles
There are certain conditions that make possible the creation
of an inspiring and benevolent climate where what we are really
seeking is brought to light. A context favourable to openness
is thus created; favourable to the soothing of pain and to the
personal development process. What are then these conditions?
With his experience, his knowledge and his understanding of how
the human being and life itself function, the counselor accompanies
the invitee towards a greater understanding of that which he has
been through, of who he is, and of his present experience. This
allows the person who is accompanied to better see where he is
situated in his own life. And, knowing better what he wants to
do in his life, he makes more enlightened and more conscious choices.
With this new knowledge, he makes better life choices. He is at
peace and feels freer.
The counselor, together with the invitee, creates a context favourable
to openness and to clear insight.
Amongst other things, the counselor should have three important
qualities if he is to create such an atmosphere: a capacity to
listen, the capacity to understand and a quality of presence.
In the approach that I favour, the invitee must feel truly listened
to. He must feel welcome and accepted, and he must have the space
and the time necessary to allow him to pause and rest, tell his
story and be helped with those issues which concern him the most.
In this way, he can feel that he is in the right place, and at
the right time. Then the counselor must be able to really understand
and to clearly see the invitee’s situation. He must shed
light on things and be able to see with him the essence of what
he has experienced and of what he is currently living, the most
fundamental points of his situation and of his personal story.
He must be able to assist him in the realisation of new life plans.
And finally, the counselor must have a good quality of presence:
openness of the heart, broadmindedness, insight, attentiveness.
I would say that this presence is often the counselor’s
most important quality when attending to someone who suffers and
who feels lost, or for communicating well with someone who is
involved in the delicate process of personal inner searching.
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On the Services page you have an outline of some subjects that
may be tackled and on the Philosophy page you will see some extracts
of texts on these same subjects.